I don’t know what exactly that means, other than that my hands are full.

The Husband is reading to the kids and the quiet is almost disconcerting. Life right now is loud, except when they are both asleep and the silence is deafening. It’s like being in the car on my own. I have to turn the radio up…way up, well because I can but also because there is silence from the gallery.

I wonder what it will be like when they are both in knitting for hours! bon bons! massages! Reading books in a coffee shop all day! erm house cleaning, shopping, finding a job.

This whole job thing is sure a quandary. I keep trying to figure out what happens next and not having a hard set plan really is throwing me for a loop. Ten years ago I thought I knew. A few years later I tweaked it a bit after a slight detour, then I did a total 180 a few years after that. It isn’t being indecisive as much as being molded by life. But somedays it still bugs me. I have a few ideas, now it is gaining the courage to make it happen.

Screeeetch What?! Preschool? yeah me too. We thought is wasn’t going to be possible to do an out of home preschool and I am still not sure how it is going to shake out. One of our friends found an affordable 2 day a week program and we have The Girl signed up with her oldest. The Girl wants to go so badly, I hope that it is a great experience for her. Then we start the process of trying to apply to charter schools in town. We think there is one in particular that will be a really good fit for her/us. We have an ok elementary public school but it is already over crowded and I have heard some less than stellar things about how well teaching to the test is going and the price students pay.

It seems unreal that she is already old enough to go to preschool. Wow.

The Boy is busily learning new words, climbing new things, and making sure we know that he has thoughts of his own tyvm. He is absolutely at the transition between baby and big boy. It’s frustrating us all at times, but we’re making it. His biggest thing is that he is showing interest in leaving diapers behind. It is very much hit and miss at this stage but he is doing very well all things considered. We don’t push it and have let both kids go at their own pace. It seems to work for us.

I have been busily knitting away getting ready to teach some knitting classes at The Knitting Nest. It is really exciting!

Better get for now, more sooner than later….I hope.

When I left you last, we were on the panic zone of sleep issues for the husband and being totally alone with the wee ones at night. We all survived and survived another round of it even. Turns out The Husband has sleep apnea and it was far more serious than we ever thought. He has a CPAP now and has been spending the past months adjusting to the rest of forever having to sleep with air constantly blowing up his nose. He’s doing well has noticed a large change in his sleep quality. It took us all a while to get used to it. The kids were the most non-chalant of everyone. It took me a while to him not snoring and hearing the constant hisssssssssss from the machine but having non zombie husband took no getting used to at all.  I think we’re all glad to know what was going on and it further establishes family history with it (his mom also has sleep apnea).

We’re trying really hard to stay cool this summer and it’s been tough to far. The kids have been getting up earlier (good luck trying to get them sleeping earlier too! :/ )  but the bonus is that we can hit the outdoors for a short while before it gets unbearable. We’ve also tried to institute a quiet time because getting up that early has everyone a bit cranky by the middle of the afternoon. We’re still working on it and we’ve I have been know to institute quiet time in the form of a car ride. There is something in the older sibling rule book that says “thou shalt ensure that younger sibling gets interrupted when they are trying to go to sleep”  conversely there is a matching phrase for younger siblings that says “thou shalt endeavor to go play with older sibling at earliest sighting and forgo napping. You shall also interrupt older sibling when they are trying to sleep at night.”

We’re still working on our dairy free status. I have a horrible love of queso dip (Torchy’s Tacos – I am looking at you) and well we all do, The Boy included. It bothers us both pretty bad, but it’s little steps and by and large we are doing better everyday. Newer to our dietary endeavors is more vegan/vegetarian dining. The Girl is extremely upset about animals eating animals, especially the human animal eating animals. She is asking some tough questions and very rarely eats animal proteins. We had a rather painful discussion about eggs a few weeks ago and I am pretty sure she has not eaten an egg alone since. The nice thing is that it encourages all of us to eat a more non animal protein based diet (I still do eat meat though, just not as often). She still, however, gives us hell about eating veggies. We’re working on it and trying to help her understand where her food comes from, provide her with healthy meals, and let her decide when and how much to eat.

Our CSA has been so wonderful this year. I can’t even begin to describe how happy I am. Beet season has been phenomenal. We’re on week 11 and I think we’ve had beets in almost every basket. We’re in tomato heaven right now and I’ve been gorging on dairy free Margherita pizzas. I just leave the cheese off and I’m a happy girl. The worms got the melons and cucumbers but we’ll see what shakes out. I am missing the greens a bit but it’s just too hot now. Greens season was also rather wonderful. The nice thing about the heat is that okra loves heat! We’re getting lots of it at the moment! I am thrilled!

So I think I’m off for now, but hopefully I can keep up this writing business better.

The Girl, we finally, finally have her starting the night in her own bed if one of us lays down with her and reads two stories of her choosing. She usually appears back in our bed before morning, but occasionally she has made it from bedtime until The Husband leaves for work. For her, this is a HUGE deal. We are talking about the baby whom you could not lay down, period. We were thankful when she was finally able to sleep without constant full body contact, though she wanted to have her food supply within easy access. She didn’t sleep through the night until she was 2 years old. (neither did I as a child)

The Boy, well his sleep pattern is different. He actually would fall asleep without nursing on occasion, even as an infant. His teething has nearly undone us all though. While he has yet to grace us with the benefit of 5 hours straight sleep (the technical definition of sleeping through the night), his sleep habits are completely different than The Girl’s. All that changed when his first four molars came in all at once. He didn’t sleep for more than 40 minutes to an hour at a time for weeks. Just when I thought we were past that 2 more teeth (canines) with another very close to arriving. We’re back to square one.  Some nights it has been hours of upset because cold chewies/pops, motrin, and teething gel combined have done nothing. He’s also sore enough that nursing is difficult. He’s not at all shy about communicating his displeasure. It’s exhausting.

The Husband who has snored like a bear for as long as I’ve known him (and it’s been a “long time”) isn’t sleeping well. For some lovely male reason, the kids waking up don’t phase him. He can sleep through some of the most raucous baby upset for quite sometime. He can also fall asleep while you are talking to him, if he gets still, and more fun. He’s getting a sleep study done because he’s not ever rested. He’s always so tired. I’ll be honest this was a contention point between us for a good while as I get up all night, etc. and he’s the tired one. I think he may have sleep apnea. We’ll get his results in two weeks.

Well me, I sleep pretty ok, but I haven’t slept through the night (by above definition) since late 2005 when I became pregnant with The Girl. Surprisingly we can adapt fairly well except on the really bad nights. My only big thing is the parents who use sleeping through the night as evidence of their parenting prowess.

Tonight, I just hope the kids go to sleep easier than last night. Last night and today have been brutal so far.

I keep thinking … today and it won’t happen… or I’ll sit down and have not much to say. It’s a never ending cycle of crazy here.

I have a whole batch of dairy free chocolate chip cookie dough in the freezer, ready to go and that’s pretty exciting. We’ve also recently tried Newman O’s (think hippie organic oreos) and those are pretty fab. Namebrand Oreo’s are actually dairy free but are chock full of GMO’s, partially/fully hydrogenated oils. I like them but I really like knowing that the Newman O’s don’t have the icky oils and GMO’s especially. Newman O’s also come in cool varieties like chocolate, peanut butter, mint, and ginger in addition to the original Oreo like variety. We tried all of the except for the peanut butter variety as our local market was out of those when they had the sale. Hey it was a really good sell and I got piggy.   I also got some tufutti better than cream cheese hoping to make cream cheese icing with it. I’ve never had it, but I am hoping it works.

Sometimes I think it would be really neat to get to review dairy free products. Not for money or fame and fortune but mostly because it would be neat to try new things and broaden our horizons. There are so many options out there that we just don’t know about and while we do try to stick with less processed foods, the convenience factor certainly has it’s benefits here.

Our CSA starts back up soon, hopefully at the end of March. Looking forward to happy veggie days!

We’re making some more dietary changes around here. The Husband has started going to the farmer’s market and gathering veggies while we wait for our CSA season to start. It’s been a good thing. He gets time alone, it’s more economical for us, and we’re getting better prices than Greenling while supporting local ag more directly. Greenling is good stuff, but that whole bang for the buck that I whined about coming off the CSA ended up being what did it in. We’re trying to do  better about eating out (not so often) and wanted to maximize our grocery dollar.

We’re also getting more on the organic/pastured protein wagon. The cost of the meat is more but the taste and nutrition of it is so much better (not to mention the animal’s welfare). So we’re vegging it up and eating less animal protein (which isn’t a bad thing) to compensate for the higher meat price. Bastrop Cattle Co. and a number of the local poultry places make me so so happy. YUM!

Next on the chopping block was my decision to go Dairy Free. I can tolerate small amounts of dairy but when we started testing The Boy on it he did equally as unwell as I did. I just feel better without it. I really, really, miss cheese. However, it makes it easier to just avoid it as much as possible. The Girl also doesn’t tolerate dairy very well either. We’re still learning, still falling off and climbing back on the wagon, but getting better everyday. I was given a copy of Go Dairy Free for my birthday and loving all the information. We’re talking everything from substitutes to recipes that include vegan options. It is really wonderful to see things like sweets, un cheese pizza, and even lasagna that isn’t just about soy. There is a vegan chocolate ice cream made from avocado that I am just dying to try. The Husband really dislikes avocado and thinks this is just abhorrent. lol

So here we are, I have bread to bake. The last of my first Master Recipe from Healthy Bread in 5 Minutes a day is needing to be baked. It’s just awesome.

Sent The Husband out for coffee beans since we were out of decaf and I forgot repeatedly to buy more. Being the good man that he is, he also brought back mochas. YAY! So I am sitting here with the netbook, holding a sleeping babe, and sipping my drug of choice. Awesome.

We let The Wee Ones open a gift each last night. The Boy is not too impressed with this whole Christmas gift thing yet. The Girl was rather excited about last night’s offering. After doing a little online shopping, I found her this fabulous “kid-friendly” Piggy Paint because she my mother got her into nail painting.  It took a bit of trail and error but she’s all dolled up today.

We’ve totally fallen into “those evil parents” in the eyes of many folks this year because we’re not pushing The Santa Agenda. No mall Santa picture. No pushing them to believe in Santa. The Girl knows what Santa looks like but doesn’t totally get that bring present idea. I really do like Santa and giving in the spirit of Santa…even if nobody else gets that.  Honestly, we’re really just letting them lead us in that one. It’s not as much as the myth/lie argument as it is the commercialization of Christmas. We’re not big church going folks, but I am trying to teach them The Nativity Story. One of our friends got The Wee Ones a Nativity and we’ve been introducing the story a bit at a time. I’ve been telling them that we give each other presents because Baby Jesus was a really big present given to us. So far, it seems enough. Faith yes, organized mainstream religion not so much.

Today we have my folks coming in and tomorrow The Husband’s. Hope to get some good pictures of the wee ones getting their play on.

Happy Christmas, everyone! May your holiday be filled with warmth, love, and laughter.

Yeah…blogging has been on the back burner big time.

Right before Thanksgiving The Boy turned 1. Wow. Poor bub got to spend his birthday with a cold. We went to IKEA for bookshelves and came home with a bonus cold included with our purchase. However, by the following weekend he was ready to party down and try some cake.

It’s hard to believe he is already a year old! Next we have Christmas. Wow…Christmas.

I’m excited for the kids, but man I am DONE. with all this crazy pants shopping and cranky people business.  YIKES! The snatching and grabbing and getting run over with buggies. The dirty looks from everyone for no reason aside from being present in their realm. Nice holiday spirit there. We did most of our shopping online this year. I have a few gifts I need to get locally and a trip to the post office and I’m really, really not looking forward to it. We have our tree up, lights, decorations, ornaments from the waist up and I’m still trying to figure out who exactly we are doing this for. Hummmm.

The Girl has been asking for snow almost every day since Dec 1. How do I break it to her that we just don’t see much snow where we are. She won’t take it for an answer. Sigh.

Now to get to Christmas morning and then onto my birthday and New Years….more to come…

Earlier this week we baked some pre-made dough sugar cookies. It’s the kind they sell as school fundraisers these days. I didn’t buy it, my Mom did. Good gawd… “tastes like homemade”  LOL  Apparently they haven’t been to my home! The Girl thinks they are good and I’m shaking my head going “but we have KAF Kids mixes and all the makings of homemade cookies and you’d rather eat THIS!?” SOB  However this is coming off of Halloween and she totally rejected some nasty candy…so my faith is not completely ruined. She was also absolutely too cute reading Bakers Banter with me this week and asking when we were going to make the bread they made. If KAF needs a spirited poster child(ren)… I got her (and him!) right here. The Boy is getting more interested every day, but he is admittedly a finished product tester more often than not right now.  He would like for me to tell you that mommy’s first pie crust was delicious.

I made a chicken pot pie (above) and an apple pie. We were a bit impatient and didn’t let it cool as much as we should on the chicken so it oozed out a bit. Needless to say, both were quickly devoured  and I’m extremely pleased with the results. If you ever have a chance to attend a KAF Traveling Baking Demo, do so. There was so much great information and it 100% boosted my confidence level to do some thing I had been terrified to do. The folks that do the demo are so helpful and knowledgeable, I think even a seasoned baker could take away something new. Never going back to store bought pie crust again.

I’m still feeling the burnout pretty bad. Had a pretty good talk with The Husband who has been having some similar struggles. We’re trying to adjust things and get back to something we can all live with better. We’re having sleeping difficulties with The Boy (ack teething and life) which is leading to disturbing The Girl which is snowballing into grumpy everyone. Sleep deprivation is brutal. We (The Husband and I) are also not the most schedule oriented people, routine yes but we just don’t run by a clock very well.

I’m pondering The Boy’s birthday “cake.”  We did strawberry shortcake for The Girl and strawberries are sadly out of season. I was debating something like berry muffins. Part of me wants to just do the cake and frosting thing, but I’m not sold on the idea. It wasn’t something that we did with The Girl and while sugar has been a little more lax this go around, I’m not ready to toke the poor thing up on his 1st birthday either.

Tomorrow is Friday which means Starbucks Day! WOOO! I usually get a decaf no whip soy mocha but I’m debating the peppermint mocha or a gingerbread latte since the seasonal (snert) flavors were released this week with the red cups. oo la la bring on that sexy red cup!

I’m in a wee bit of a funk. The joys of no time of my own is raining down upon me like some of the long awaited storms we’ve finally gotten. It’s amusing in a way, because there are far too many times I feel at wits end and simply wish I could just, I don’t know, check out for an hour or two … or maybe just once for the first time since late 2005 maybe have a good night’s sleep. This is also usually about the time someone will somewhat randomly say “oh I don’t know how you can stand to stay at home, I couldn’t.” I’m totally happy that they realize this of themselves, but at the same time… it is almost always at the point where I’m pretty sure they are going to come carry me away any day now. Do I radiate it so loudly now? I haven’t played my trumpet in over a year… knitting… not happening… bath alone  forget-about-it. Seriously it takes me a week or more to do something, even when it’s pretty critical. Lovely. I need a damn house elf (but I’d treat them good!) or at the very least a crew of ladies who would kindly come mop and clean my bathrooms.  I’m sure every parent has those days but it sucks donkey balls when it’s you having that day/week/month/whatever. Burnout no fun land, oh I am there.

At current, I am hiding in the room with the computer. It’s almost bathtime…need to go pick up dinner stuff. We’re trying really hard to cook at home more, but interestingly enough…I am the only one cooking. I’m not sure how that works but hey tonight I really didn’t want to cook and we actually cracked frozen soup out of the freezer. I am so proud. Usually that means a Mighty Fine night or a Cabo Bob’s night. We’re also dealing with the 3 year old picky-eater-itis. No you can not have cookies/candy/sugar/chips/jelly/etc for meals. It’s insane how a kid can go from eating everything to being picky and then have changing likes on an hourly or sometimes less basis.

Had a crazy afternoon…I went to ye old local cloth diapering store. An exercise in futility. Why? Because every. single. time. I go… they never have the thing I am going for. EVER. The people that run it (at least the owner) is pretty nice…though I’m not super duper excited that her sick kid was encouraged to go play with mine and that she let me know the kid was sick AFTER they had mouthed the same toy.  It’s just frustrating as heck to always get there and them not have it. I also need to stop checking their website…website says yes, store no have. No I don’t call, but I guess I should. Phone calls usually end up with screaming children or something happening that isn’t good. Ended up coming home with two really grumpy children and ordering the silly thing online with free shipping. (Also… why oh why does Fuzzi Bunz have to get the awesome girly prints when I don’t have a girl in diapers and there are no cool boy prints. sigh.) Both kids fell asleep in the car.

In the past month…my folks side had a death in the family. I ended up representing my folks part of the clan by being a pallbearer. It was kind of an unexpected death… older family member but it just kind of BAM! happened rather quickly.  The family drama that is brewing…groan. I just want to stay out of it, even though others are trying to drag me in. Why can’t everyone just be civil and get through it!??

On the other side, my FIL is having surgery for a tumor in his colon this month. They found out last month through a colonoscopy, but I get the feeling it was suspected. They think it is benign and expect it to be as “no big thing” as a colon resection can be. My MIL wants The Husband to come down and help…and he should. Trying to figure out how to deal with the wee ones and if I/us should go. Want to support The Husband, but I know that the kiddos would not do good in a new place with little they can get into. All I could do is watch them.  It is a really tough call. SIL is coming down too, so this could end up being a family thing too I guess.

So to end on a happy note… 18th of this month is The Boy’s first birthday! HURRAY! We already have his name stool and I figure we’ll do cake and stuff. Low key but fun. It’s hard to believe he’s already a year old…but he’s been here practically forever too.